Adopt a Dog: A Plea

In two years, we have owned three dogs. Roxy was a stray dog that we kept after searching for her owner. She was a great dog, but I thought she was lonely. Adam and I fought about it, as he said that we didn't have enough room or money for a second dog. In the end, I won, and we went to pick out a second dog.

We knew that we wanted to adopt a dog from a shelter as there are so many dogs in the shelter that need good homes. We took Roxy to a shelter and let her "pick one out". The first dog that we chose didn't work out: he was growling at her while she sniffed him. The second, Trixie, was a tree walker coonhound, with long ears and tall, skinny legs. I would have never picked her out, but she and Roxy got along right away. They played in an outside pen and on the way home, they cuddled in the backseat. I knew right away that they were going to be best friends.

In December 2010, tragedy struck and we lost Trixie, and Roxy had her leg amputated. Roxy was so depressed during her recovery and I could barely get out of bed. I cried nonstop. In March 2011, we spread Trixie's ashes and considered getting a new dog. We tread lightly on this because we knew no one could replace Trixie. We went to the shelter and tried out a few dogs, but none really worked out. All of the sudden, behind the counter, I saw a timid black dog, who I assumed was a puppy because of her small stature. I said, "What about that one?" They brought this dog, named Cherry, out to meet Roxy. All of the sudden, Cherry's tail started wagging. "I've never seen her act like that!" said the girl behind the counter. We took Cherry home that night.

The first couple of days, Cherry did not like us all that much. She was scared and wouldn't move from the couch. She sat, almost lifeless, as we brought her food and water to her. When we let her outside, she either tried to escape or hid under the deck, shivering. I cried and told Adam that we should return her. She wasn't even playing with Roxy. I missed Trixie so badly in those moments. This dog wasn't for me, I thought. Adam asked me to give it just one more day and see if Cherry warmed up.

The next day, Cherry, now named Cora, transformed. She was bright, tail wagging, playing with Roxy, and licking me! She was a completely different dog. Cora has turned into a wonderful, sweet dog that greets me at the door with kisses and hugs. She follows me around the house and cuddles right next to me at night. She even takes naps with me!

We've come a long way from adopting Trixie a year ago. I never would have picked out Trixie, or Cora. But those two dogs have changed my life. The Warrensburg shelter is full right now and several dogs will be euthanized if not adopted by Thursday, June 2nd. Please, if you're looking for a new dog, consider adopting from the shelter. It's a great deal- they come microchipped and everything- and you're saving two lives in the process- you adopt one and another dog gets that cage and gets to live. Please consider adopting instead of going to a breeder or a pet store. 

We didn't necessarily have the time, energy, money or room for a second dog, but we opened our hearts and made it happen. It was the best decision of our lives.


Open your heart

Patches

Two years ago, I met someone. I didn't expect that someone to become anything but a footnote in my life. Now, two years later, we live together, we have a house, and two adopted dogs. We're a family.

But lately things haven't been so great. What's become of our relationship? Fights, lies, slamming doors and couch-sleeping. Patches. Patching things up to make them work. I feel like my whole life has become a patchwork quilt, just mending what is broken for the temporary, and not knowing how to reupholster my life.

I've always prided myself on my communication skills, and I have tried repeatedly to figure out what has happened to us. I ask questions and I get lies. I ask more questions and he shuts down. What's the point? Why hide what you feel? What is going on in YOUR HEAD?

I'm exhausted at this point. I don't want to be there anymore. This isn't the life that I thought I would be living. But what if this is just a speedbump? What if things WILL get better? What if he's the one I'm supposed to be with?

I'm not afraid of being alone, of starting over, even though that depresses me. I am exhausted by the thought of all the energy it's going to take to start over- energy and money. Find a place, move all of my stuff, what will we do with the dogs? Lately they're all I look forward to. Start over. Shoulder all of the bills again.

And then what happens? If he apologizes, begs me back like he has a million times? What do I do? Move back in? Uproot my life yet again? It's all too exhausting to think about.

I just. dont. know.what. to.do.anymore.

The Art of Mothering

moth·er/ˈməT͟Hər/

Verb: Bring up (a child) with care and affection: "the art of mothering".

Mother's Day is generally reserved for mothers that gave birth to children, but I've come to realize in the last couple of years that a mother can be anyone who possesses those general "mothering" qualities, and that cares for others as she would care for children. Below I have detailed the mothers in my life who have made an impact on me.

My sisters: I have three older sisters and my first niece was born when I was 5 years old, so they were more little sisters to me than nieces. I was a built in babysitter from the age of eleven, and took part in disciplining and caring for them. They have become beautiful kids, all seven of them, thanks in big part to my sisters, who have brought them up with poise, care and love. They are the smartest kids I know, and I am proud to call them family :)
                                               My sisters, me and my Mom (in the middle)

Adam's aunts and sister: Adam's mother passed away when he was young and over the years he spent time with various aunts and his sister. These women helped make him kind, sensitive, sweet, and loving. They all cared for Adam when he needed them; he lived with a few of them during various times in his life. They weren't his natural mothers, but they opened their hearts and homes to him.
                                                    Adam and his wonderful sister Cara

I really admire my friend Jacque for her mothering skills. She had baby Madelyn about a year and a half ago and she is the happiest baby I know. Most mothers enjoy being with their children, but Jacque takes it to a whole new level. I can usually control my baby instincts, but when I'm around Madelyn, I want a baby just like her. She's smart and sweet and so affectionate- because Jacque is. She spends time with her, makes her own baby food, just generally is happy and excited to be a mother. I want to be just like her when I have a baby Laylan.
                                                            Jacque and baby Maddie

And lastly, I am not a mother to children but I am a mother to two wonderful dogs, Roxy and Cora. We adopted Roxy in Feb 2010 and in July 2010 got her a friend, Trixie. In December 2010, tragedy struck our family. Roxy and Trixie escaped and Trixie passed away, and Roxy's hip was crushed. Two surgeries later, Roxy was a three legged dog. We nursed her back to health, taking her out to the bathroom on a leash, making sure she had her pain medicine and lifting her 60 lb body onto the bed so that she could sleep near us. She has inspired us with the resolve and a "can-do" attitude. Sometimes she falls, but she has learned how to live her life as a three legged dog and nothing can stop her.
                                                                        Roxy and Trixie

In March we adopted Cora from an animal shelter. The first day, she loved Roxy but wouldn't show any type of affection toward us. We gave her a chance and brought her home, where she lay on the couch, almost lifeless, for 2 days. When we let her out to potty, she hid under the deck for 4 hours, shivering. I didn't have faith, I thought she needed to be returned to the shelter. Adam asked to keep her one more night. That night, she blossomed. She is the sweetest, loving dog that we could ask for to be a friend to Roxy. They play constantly, wrestle, groom each other, and were instant best friends. They really are my children.

Roxy, a 3 legged dog, and Cora

Happy Mother's Day, whether you're a furmother, a child's mother, a surrogate mother, or any other "mother"!

What did you name your kid?

My name is Laylan, and I have always gotten compliments on my unique- and original- name. My name stems from the Eric Clapton song "Layla", but my parents thought that lots of people would name their kid Layla, so they added an "n" to the end and it has a very pleasant, roll of the tongue sort of sound to it. My father got to name me, and he has always expressed that because he had a generic, overused name, (David), that he wanted me to be different. My middle name is a family name. Alas, Laylan Leola was born.

We live in a society that encourages individuality, so it is no wonder that so many parents want their child to stand out- but why would you want to give your child a name that no one can pronounce? I once met a woman named Shawntreneisha. Her name did not fit on her social security card. it just said Shawntrene. What a poor child to have to spell that name as a kindergartner!

Celebrities have always named their children crazy names, partially because they are attention whores. Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon had twins and named them Moroccan & Monroe. Moroccan. As in, the nationality. As in, "This is my child, Swedish. This is my child Canadian." You can read more about wacky names here:  Celebrity Baby Names

Also, sometimes when you name your child a name that you think is unique, many other people think it's unique too. Which is where this list came from: Most Hated Baby Names. Names like Jayden, Brayden, Peyton, any Mc name- McKenna, Mackenzie, etc. apparently make people "bristle" when they hear them.

All of this being said, you can name your child whatever you want- but don't go overboard and sling a bunch of consonants together and call it "a name". I really feel that a child's character starts with the name that they are given. I really feel that people with solid names, with names that come from deep thought and meaning, help shape the person your child becomes. Would I have grown up to be outspoken and quirky with a name like Jessica? Probably not, because I learned from a very young age to explain my name. It helped me come out of my shell, and it's always an icebreaker. On the other hand, it's not too complex and people rarely pronounce it wrong (other than Adam's grandfather, who insists my name is Leland)

Give your child a name with purpose- something with meaning-  a name that he or she can be proud of.

Can I Miss Someone I've Never Met?

Mother's Day is coming up and it always makes me a little sad for Adam. His mother passed away when he was younger and it sounds strange, but I sometimes have a hard time dealing with it. 

My mom and I are very close, and I have a lot of memories of her when I was little, but it's hard for me to distinguish those that came before I was a teenager. Memories tend to muddle together, and when you've had someone in your life for so long, you tend to always think of them being there, so it's hard for you to remember when they weren't. Adam's mother passed away when he was eleven years old, fifteen years before I met him. He's been alive longer without her than with her.

When I met Adam and he told me the story of his mother, I cried. I remember my heart aching for him, for her, for the whole family. I know how much I rely on my mother, and I can't imagine being without her in my life. I ask him questions about her... what kind of perfume did she wear? what did her voice sound like? would she have liked me?

I think about all of the things that she has missed out on, all of the times that he could have used her advice, her hugs, her smile, just to help him through the day. In the two years that we've been together, she's become a part OUR story, not just Adam's. We talk about her, we pray to her sometimes for guidance. Not a day goes by that we don't think about her and her impact on us.

She's been gone for over fifteen years, and yet, when people find out that I'm dating Adam they just beam with stories about her. How kind, sweet, wonderful, generous she was. My heart aches at this. I think about her sometimes, I think about how life would be if she were alive. If she and I would have been friends, sharing recipes and watching Extreme Couponing and going on shopping trips together.

What I ache for the most is that she didn't get to see the wonderful, kind, sweet, generous and loving man that Adam has become- and I can't help but think that maybe she is with  us, and everything I love about him--- it's just her, shining through.

Tuna Noodle Casserole

This is one of Adam's favorite meals, and one night he wanted it but I didn't have a recipe, so I threw this one together. It's amazingly simple and very good. I dont measure anything, so it's pretty approximate.

Boil water.
Add salt to boiling water (I once heard it should be salty enough to mirror sea water)
Add macaroni noodles (as much as you want!)
Drain cooked noodles, add:
1 can of cream of celery
1 can of cream of chicken (I actually used 1/2 a can last night)
1/2 cup of cheese (I used mozzarella and sharp cheddar last night)
2 cans of tuna
Salt and Pepper to taste

Mix and heat thoroughly. Serve with bread and butter. YUM.

It's so easy, you can also mix it and bake it with cheese on top to get a crunchy top :)