Saturday, November 19, 2011

Breaking Dawn: Part I (I for Inappropriate)

Note: May contain spoilers. Do not read if you dont like spoilers but haven't yet read the Twilight books (And if you havent but plan to, you probably should cause they're on the fourth movie. Sheesh)
In 2008, the Twilight saga's first movie came out. I, being relatively clueless, had not yet heard of Twilight until about two weeks before the movie's debut. At first I thought "Vampires? No thanks." I snubbed them, as a person of literary snobbery usually does. I recall in high school when everyone was fawning over Harry Potter and I also had no interest. Fantasy smatansy. (I've always had a thing for true crime, mainly from my father's collection of books, and I was asked by my 5th grade teacher if my parents knew I was reading The Burning Bed, when I took it out for free reading time)

However, I went to the movie just to see what all of the buzz was about. Immediately after viewing the (let's face it, B caliber movie) I picked up the first Twilight book. Then the second, third, and fourth. I didn't tell a lot of people that i was reading these books, because they had gained a reputation of being for mostly tweens and teenagers, I felt embarrassed, at 22, picking them up from the "Young Readers" section of Hastings. I did get through the four books, although i felt that the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, was incredibly disturbing. It explained in graphic detail a sex scene between the two main characters, then detailed her drinking blood to feed this demonic fetus that had been spawned inside her, and her subsequent traumatic delivery of said demon. It creeped me out.

Let's just say that these movies will never win anything more than an MTV movie award. (Probably for best kiss). The movies are full of beautiful cinematography, but as for the acting, it leaves something to be desired. So why is everyone gaga over Bella and Edward? I think I have a few ideas:

1.) Edward is the "perfect" man. Other than the fact that he is undead, 17 years old forever, and mostly a freaking drama queen, teens and young adults (and even a 70 year old lady at my office) fawn over him. Why? Because to the teens, he's who they look for in a mate (what it's supposed to be like as teenagers in love). To the young adults, they strive to find that in the beer-guzzling frat boys that they are surrounded with, and to the older crowd, he represents chivalry, and an honest break from the ball-scratching, dirty old man that their once charming groom has grown into.

2.) The setting is realistic. Stephenie Meyer took vampires out from coffins and stakes, away from mansions with cobwebs and fangs. She placed them in our world- and made them closer to humanlike. They possess unbelievable beauty and poise, and money. They are not a threat to your world as they do not kill humans for their feeding. In theory, any man that we meet at a bar or at the supermarket could be an Edward Cullen.

3.) Everyone loves a forbidden love story. Romeo + Juliet. Cleopatra and Marc Antony. Sonny and Cher. All of these relationships were filled with tumultuous times, death threats, thinking that your brother was going to suck her blood... oh wait, that's just Bella and Edward. So we find ourselves rooting for the crazy kids, (or in some cases, Jacob, the werewolf) pining for them to find a way to live happily ever after. See: Every Katherine Heigl movie.

As I sat in Breaking Dawn Part 1, I realized how ridiculous the story line really, truly was. But that's okay, because we have enough real life stories out there. Enough broken hearted stories. Maybe what we all need is a little fantasy, something that, in our minds could just happen....

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Seizure Control

Note: I'm not a doctor, so please always call 911 if faced with a situation that requires medical attention. Also, I asked Adam for permission before I shared these stories with my readers. :)

When I met Adam in 2009, I knew he was different, (meaning he was the most charming, most adorable, wittiest person I'd ever laid my eyes on), but soon I found out that he had had some trauma in his childhood and was left with a traumatic brain injury. In addition to his brain injury, he has also had seizures since he was 16 years old. He spoke of it as any other every day thing, such as that he had three siblings and his birthday was the day after Halloween.

This terrified me. I have never been around anyone who had seizures before, and so the only image I had of epilepsy and seizures was what I had seen on tv and movies. And those aren't exactly happy representations of this condition.

At the time that we started dating Adam was having seizures once a week. Before we met they were as often as every day. I was on high alert. I didn't know how I was going to react. I felt, at the time, that this may be a dealbreaker for me. I may not be able to deal with it. How selfish of me!

So there we were, a month into our relationship, when he had a seizure. I cried. It was really hard to watch him in pain. It was over before I knew it and I remember thinking that it wasn't as bad as I had built up in my mind.

It's been two years since we started dating and Adam has had countless seizures since then. Some of them have been in public, and I see the looks on people's faces. It's part curiosity, part rubbernecking, part shock, part confusion. People just don't know what to do. After a late night catching a plane to Austin, Texas, Adam had a seizure on the plane. I put away my magazine and slid my hands over Adam's as he started twitching. I locked into his eyes as they filled with tears and said, "Just breathe. It's gonna be okay." A man across the aisle stared at him, and I could see the wheels spinning in his mind, thinking of what to do, if he should call the attendant for help. I made eye contact and smiled, and he smiled back, a knowing glance. He knew I had it under control.

Another time we were in a busy hotel getting breakfast when I heard a plate crash to the ground. Adam was standing there, biscuits and gravy covering his shoes, and he looked at me in a panic. "I twitched.." he said. Kids, adults alike looked at him. I sat him in the nearest chair and handed him a banana. (We've found that bananas have reduced his seizures significantly)

Instead of the once selfish Laylan that thought, "How will this affect my life?" I now look at these situations as a team effort. I did research. I made some of my own diagnoses. We regulated his sleep schedule, diet and he cut down on his smoking. He ate bananas and took potassium supplements. We used breathing and awareness techniques. Gradually, they slowed. Eventually, they stopped. Adam's been (mostly) seizure free for over a year. A condition that he's had since he was 16 years old has stopped. WOW. Isn't that amazing? I'm incredibly proud of what he has accomplished. Ahem. We. What we have accomplished.

What spurred this blog was that a woman on campus had a seizure today. Adam came out of his class and a group had gathered around her, gawking as she lay on the floor, cradled by a couple of other girls. Seizures are very scary and I understand that curiosity is natural. But understand that there is a person behind the condition.

If you are with someone who has a seizure: -First see if you can communicate with them. There are several types of seizures, and some seizures do not render the person unconscious. If they can communicate with you, ask them what you can do to help them. If they are unconscious, put them on their side. If you are not familiar with this person, he/she could choke. Placing them on their side will keep them safe. Do not- do-not- put a wooden spoon in their mouth. (Old Wive's Tale).

-If the person is not conscious, call Public Safety or 911. The dispatcher can walk you through actions until the paramedics get there. If you are unsure, call 911.

What I've learned from this is that nothing in life is as scary as it seems. Everything can be managed, and, especially in Adam's situation, with a little research and change of lifestyle, improved.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Love your tatas.

As everyone knows, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you don't know, have you been living under a rock? With all of the pink floating around, it looks like someone spilled a million gallon vat of Pepto! I have somewhat of a problem with everyone commercializing the month- even in the name of charity.

But, I digress. The Susan G. Komen Foundation has done a lot for breast cancer awareness, and that was part of the reason that I applied to work with them in 2010. I drove to Wichita, KS and interviewed in a 2nd round interview and was a finalist to becoming an Education Coordinator with them. It was my dream job.

There are two reasons that I care so deeply about breast cancer awareness.

The first is that I have breasts, and I feel that everyone should be aware of their body. The girls and I have been together since they came onto the scene when I was in third grade, and I was the only one in Mrs. Lankford's class to have breasts, strapped in by a hot pink sports bra. I remember looking down my shirt all day, that first day, because I was in awe of what was growing there. I was the only girl in my class (that I knew of) that was wearing a bra at this time. None of my friends could relate. In fact, no one could really relate to me until I was in sixth grade, when my friends were getting theirs. By 8th grade, I was a DD. By the time I graduated high school I was a DDD.

I got a lot of attention for my breasts and still do to this day. I used to try to cover them as much as possible, as they were a source of embarrassment. T-Shirts stopped fitting right, and still don't, dresses that fit me on top are too large on bottom. Many tear soaked shopping trips with my mother happened between ages 9 and 17.

I was a freshman in high school when I really started owning my breasts. I started to wear more revealing clothing but always tried to maintain modesty. However, that wasn't always so simple. I had to layer shirts as regular shirts would show too much.

The second reason is that my grandmother is a breast cancer survivor. When I was in high school, I heard through the family grapevine that she was going through treatment. She didn't tell me at first, and she didn't tell me when it came back when I was in college. She said that she didn't want to distract me from my studies, but I wanted to be there for her. Since she's gone through this, we've become much closer. She's a true fighter- she fought it tooth and nail and has now been several years in remission.

Because I have large, dense breasts and my grandmother is a survivor, there are obvious concerns that I might also get it. There are options for testing for the breast cancer gene, which can tentatively predict if one may develop breast cancer. Some who have discovered that they have this mutation elect to have hysterectomies and masectomies (breast removal). I have elected not to be tested for this gene. I simply do not feel ready to take the necessary steps, if I am positive for the gene. I also do not live my life in fear.

I get yearly breast exams by my doctor and I have been sent for three ultrasounds and one mammogram, all came back negative. It was quite odd, being 22, at a mammogram machine. So odd, in fact, that even though I was referred by my physician, my insurance wouldn't cover it.

I worry about it sometimes, but we cannot control these things. All we can do is be diligent by monthly self-exams (this is how my grandmother found her lump that led to the removal of the breast). You cannot wait for your yearly exam to have your doctor catch it. They're your breasts- you are responsible for their health and well-being! Take care of your tatas. They're the only (natural) ones you get!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

First Couponing Trip!

My friend and I have been taking a couponing class the last couple of weeks. While I thought it was fun to get organized for this, I was a bit lost as to how couponers get such great deals. Well last night, it all clicked.
We arrived at class and we had missed something big: No more instruction. Tonight, we’re going shopping. The teacher said that the class had used the weekend to make their lists. We didn’t have lists. So we listened to the deals and went through our coupon binders, huge binder with 40 categories, everything from Frozen Foods to Pets, to Paper Products to even- Baby Care (Yes I know I don’t have any babies, but I might someday!)
My fellow couponers said there was a great deal at Walgreens for 12 pack toilet paper for 2.00 each (with one coupon, Walgreens Register Rewards and the monthly coupon book) . I was very excited about this! However, we’d been beaten when we got there- the classmates had already been there and purchased all of it, (their second trip for toilet paper) and Walgreens didn’t have any left. I was not happy about this at all.
So we trekked onto Wal-Mart, where I was out for blood. I was pissed that I hadn’t gotten any deals and I hit the aisles with a vengeance. First, I went to the make up aisle- I have an $8 off coupon for 2 CoverGirl products- ANY- which means if I got 2 eyeshadows  at 3.44 each- I would actually be MAKING 1. 12 on that transaction. However, the eyeshadows- all 5 rows of them- were gone. Extreme Couponers had hit.
When we were in the make up aisle, we ran into a lady with a stack of coupons. My friend April, never the shy one, approached her and asked her what was in her cart that was from a coupon. We noticed that she had a whole bunch of Tide single serve detergents. She said that the Tide coupons ($2.00/3 and $1.00/2) didn’t specify the size, so she got the travel size! We did, too.
There was another deal in our midst- Dollar General had a Gillette ProGlide razor for $5.99- at Wal-Mart it was $7.74. So we “price matched” to the lower price… well hot diggity, I had a $5 off coupon for that razor- making it only 97 cents.
Then we went on to the other side of the store. We had coupons for a free 2 liter of Dr. Pepper Ten, and Wal-Mart had been out of these because it was a hot coupon. We got there and there were only TWO left, so we snatched them.
I told April I needed to hit up the Glade Clearance Aisle because there’s always good stuff for rock bottom prices, and with coupons, we’d be nearly free. I scan the Glade and there weren’t any good ones, and then I see some seasonal Febreze on the shelf. They are usually 2.66 apiece and were marked down to $2.25. I had a $2 off/2 coupon, so I usually would have paid $3.32, but I paid only $2.50 for both, making them $1.25 each. (BUT I think the cashier only put it in as a $1 coupon).
I also went to the Pet aisle, where I had a Pupperoni coupon for $2 off of 2 packages. They were 2.48 each, making each one $1.48 apiece. I also had to get cat food (with a coupon!) these were not on my original list, just great bargains in the store!

Altogether I paid $14.36… 46% savings ! Not bad for my first real couponing trip. I had couponed before, but I was doing it all wrong. As the teacher in the class says… “You’re not buying for now. You’re buying for later, when you need it, and you don’t want to pay full price.”

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Baby Lisa

Last week, 10-month-old baby Lisa Irwin disappeared from her Kansas City, Missouri home. Her parents claim that an intruder came into their home, and took baby Lisa and their cell phones. If you're not familiar with this story, you can click here to read about it.

As the Amber Alert was issued early Tuesday morning, panic spread across Facebook- my news feed was covered with online flyers and news stories. As spectators we sunk our teeth into every piece of new information that surfaced. We watched the videos of the news conferences, we tried to be "internet sleuths"- we picked apart each quote, each scenario, each facial expression. We tried to solve it in our minds. Why? Because a story like this is bizarre.

Soon, we turned on the parents. Comments turned from horror to accusatory- "she had something to do with it" graced our lips. The first day, we already wanted closure. We reasoned in our minds that a baby would never be kidnapped out of their home by a complete stranger, a la Raising Arizona. We also reasoned that if this unlikely scenario did happen, then the baby would be safe and unharmed.  We waited each day for it to come to a happy ending... but it didn't.

One thing that I have a really hard time with is realizing that some people are, inherently evil, or made so by their environment. While I thought Casey Anthony was guilty, I couldn't wrap my mind around someone who'd do these horrible things. When BTK surfaced, I fought my heart with my mind- he seemed so nice, so unassuming- there's no why he could do these things. I felt bad when his wife left him. I think it speaks to the fact that we all have some naivety in our minds, in our hearts. I'd say I have a pretty good grip on reality, and yet I just can't come to terms with this kind of evil.

It's hard for me to believe that this mother killed her baby. But I can't think of any other reason she'd make up a story such as this. Accidents happen; if the baby fell or passed away, the parents might fear the police but they still should have been called. The story is strange and someone knows where she is and what happened to her. I think about this all the time. I Google it from my phone, first thing in the morning, in case I missed an update. At this point, all it is is speculation. Everyone's speculating, probably even the police. No one knows where to go from here.


I think this is what's so hard about this case.. .as humans we like closure. We want a night, tied up, pretty package. Motive. Means. Opportunity. We don't have that here, which is so frustrating.
Where is Baby Lisa?




Monday, October 3, 2011

Mod Podge Pumpkin Tutorial

Being ever so crafty, I couldn't just get regular pumpkins when I started decorating for fall. I saw this awesome blog post last year and decided that I needed to try the technique out. Mod Podge Pumpkins

So off I went, to Hobby Lobby and Wal-Mart, and collected some supplies.
To do this project you will need:

Pumpkins (real or plastic, same degree of difficulty)
Funky tissue paper and napkins
White paint (acrylic or spray paint)
Mod Podge



As this was my first attempt, I chose a variety of napkins/tissues, paints and assorted pumpkins. The advantage of using the plastic pumpkins is that you'll be able to use these again next year.

(I tried to take pictures during each stage of the process but forgot a few!)

First, paint your pumpkins white. In the past I've used spray paint, but for this project I used acrylic paint. It's your personal preference- if doing this with kids, I'd probably paint them before you brought them in) If you're planning on leaving some of the pumpkin visible, you can use other colors, but for completely covering, it looks better with white :)




Let your pumpkins completely dry. If they aren't dry, the mod podge will not stick.

While your pumpkins are drying, cut your napkins into strips. The main tutorial says to take the backing off of the napkins, but I found that this makes the napkins tear more when you're applying the Mod Podge, so leave the backing on.



Coat the back of the napkin with Mod Podge. It will go on white and dry clear. I used a spongy craft brush. Once you have applied a coat, position your strip onto your pumpkin- I applied vertically and followed the contour of the pumpkin. Push the ends down into the pumpkin's crevices so that nothing is sticking up. Note: Once you put these down, they dry quickly and will not pull up easily without tearing.



I've found that the best way to do this next part is to divide your pumpkin into quarters visually. If you put your strip on one side, go directly across and apply your other strip. Then do the same on the other sides, as if you are cutting a pizza. It should make sense (especially with zebra stripes) to place them right next to each other, but that just doesn't work for me.

Next, wait until your strips are dry on the pumpkin. Then, coat the outside of the strips and pumpkin with more Mod Podge. Be careful as this is still tissue paper that we're working with and it may tear. Dabbing it will be okay. It will look messy as the Mod Podge will go on white, but it will dry glossy and shiny.



Be creative with this project! You can make your pumpkins look any way you want them to! What inspires you?