Note: I'm not a doctor, so please always call 911 if faced with a situation that requires medical attention. Also, I asked Adam for permission before I shared these stories with my readers. :)
When I met Adam in 2009, I knew he was different, (meaning he was the most charming, most adorable, wittiest person I'd ever laid my eyes on), but soon I found out that he had had some trauma in his childhood and was left with a traumatic brain injury. In addition to his brain injury, he has also had seizures since he was 16 years old. He spoke of it as any other every day thing, such as that he had three siblings and his birthday was the day after Halloween.
This terrified me. I have never been around anyone who had seizures before, and so the only image I had of epilepsy and seizures was what I had seen on tv and movies. And those aren't exactly happy representations of this condition.
At the time that we started dating Adam was having seizures once a week. Before we met they were as often as every day. I was on high alert. I didn't know how I was going to react. I felt, at the time, that this may be a dealbreaker for me. I may not be able to deal with it. How selfish of me!
So there we were, a month into our relationship, when he had a seizure. I cried. It was really hard to watch him in pain. It was over before I knew it and I remember thinking that it wasn't as bad as I had built up in my mind.
It's been two years since we started dating and Adam has had countless seizures since then. Some of them have been in public, and I see the looks on people's faces. It's part curiosity, part rubbernecking, part shock, part confusion. People just don't know what to do. After a late night catching a plane to Austin, Texas, Adam had a seizure on the plane. I put away my magazine and slid my hands over Adam's as he started twitching. I locked into his eyes as they filled with tears and said, "Just breathe. It's gonna be okay." A man across the aisle stared at him, and I could see the wheels spinning in his mind, thinking of what to do, if he should call the attendant for help. I made eye contact and smiled, and he smiled back, a knowing glance. He knew I had it under control.
Another time we were in a busy hotel getting breakfast when I heard a plate crash to the ground. Adam was standing there, biscuits and gravy covering his shoes, and he looked at me in a panic. "I twitched.." he said. Kids, adults alike looked at him. I sat him in the nearest chair and handed him a banana. (We've found that bananas have reduced his seizures significantly)
Instead of the once selfish Laylan that thought, "How will this affect my life?" I now look at these situations as a team effort. I did research. I made some of my own diagnoses. We regulated his sleep schedule, diet and he cut down on his smoking. He ate bananas and took potassium supplements. We used breathing and awareness techniques. Gradually, they slowed. Eventually, they stopped. Adam's been (mostly) seizure free for over a year. A condition that he's had since he was 16 years old has stopped. WOW. Isn't that amazing? I'm incredibly proud of what he has accomplished. Ahem. We. What we have accomplished.
What spurred this blog was that a woman on campus had a seizure today. Adam came out of his class and a group had gathered around her, gawking as she lay on the floor, cradled by a couple of other girls. Seizures are very scary and I understand that curiosity is natural. But understand that there is a person behind the condition.
If you are with someone who has a seizure: -First see if you can communicate with them. There are several types of seizures, and some seizures do not render the person unconscious. If they can communicate with you, ask them what you can do to help them. If they are unconscious, put them on their side. If you are not familiar with this person, he/she could choke. Placing them on their side will keep them safe. Do not- do-not- put a wooden spoon in their mouth. (Old Wive's Tale).
-If the person is not conscious, call Public Safety or 911. The dispatcher can walk you through actions until the paramedics get there. If you are unsure, call 911.
What I've learned from this is that nothing in life is as scary as it seems. Everything can be managed, and, especially in Adam's situation, with a little research and change of lifestyle, improved.
Just as an addition, don't put ANYTHING in his/her mouth! Once when we were on vacation and in a tour group, a woman had a very serious seizure. Her husband put his fingers in her mouth, as to stop her from swallowing her tongue. Unfortunately, she bit down and could not release, and he likely needed stitches. Putting the person on his/her side is definitely the best way to go!
ReplyDeleteI have also babysat for a toddler who has seizures. His are in an interesting form, he sort of stops, spaces out completely, and vibrates. They usually don't last long at all, and he goes about his way afterward (he averages 5-10 per day). Because of the media and movie/tv business we're all socially programmed to freak out, but this experience really helped me see a different side.
Good (informative) blog entry, Laylan (and Adam)!
Wow! Good point! All seizures (and the people having them) are so different. Adam gets really hot and needs a fan on him, he also responds to a slow, soothing voice. Then there are some days that he can't control it at all and we have to wait it out. It's definitely a learning experience.. every time.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, Laylan, your writing is captivating. I knew that Adam had some health issues, but I didn't know about your first year. Good for you for being supportive.
ReplyDeleteI attend a camp for special adults... many of them have seizures. I feel like the biggest impact I can have is too distract the other campers--- divert attention. :) For me, that is easy because I'm incredibly loud and obnoxious. :)